New Blog!

I know I haven't posted lately. I'll try to post soon. But as far as weight control goes, I may be posting more on my new blog, which is all about my experiences with raw food. I'm doing great, I love it, so come on over and check it out!

The Raw Revealing of the New Me

How I'm Making the Transition to Raw Foods

Being someone who doesn't really like to cook much (quite frankly, because I'm too lazy) I knew the transition to raw foods would be a challenge. I already liked salads and fruit, but there weren't a lot of veggies I liked raw. At least that's what I thought. I certainly wasn't looking forward to all the chopping and peeling. I'm just not a gourmet--all these complicated-sounding recipes intimidated me.

I knew I needed a plan. The easiest thing to start out with, in my thinking, was what I was used to. Later, I would have to get more creative to avoid boredom with my food, but I kept things simple to start. For breakfast, I usually have fruit. I may grab a banana to tide me over until the kids are eating their breakfast. Then I will sit down with something else, maybe an apple and a pear. I buy organic when I can afford it, so then I will just wash it and eat it with the peel on...good fiber. I may have some more fruit later for a snack--perhaps strawberries and cut fresh pineapple.

For lunch I would have a salad with lots of veggies--onions, red pepper, cucumbers, jicama. I still don't make my own raw dressing--for now I'm just using ranch. I usually put some shredded cheddar on top, but I'm trying to phase that out now. At dinner, I usually ate hummus and whole wheat crackers or egg salad in a pita (these are not raw, but I was eating only 70% raw at first) with some veggies, and a salad and salad veggies on the side. Later, when my husband came home from his second shift job, I would have a big salad, and maybe a little fruit later on before bed. Ironically, I've found my blood sugar in the morning tends to be lower if I eat a little fruit before bed.

All these meals are very good, and easy to make. The peeling and chopping can take a lot of time, especially if you don't have a food processor for the chopping, but I found a short cut. I do watch tv (I'm always giving it up then going back to it) so one night I sat down with a tray table i front of me, and a pile of veggies and containers. I spent a few hours slowly peeling and chopping while I watched tv. When I was done, I had a bunch of little containers full of pre-chopped fruit and vegetables. I then put the containers into rectangular plastic baskets to go into the fridge, one for veggies and one for fruits. This is much neater than a pile of produce that rolls off the shelf and bruises on the floor everytime you open the fridge. Plus produce won't get "lost" in the back, and be wasted. Now, whenever I make a salad, I pull out the lettuce and dressing, and the basket of veggies, and it is sooo quick and easy to make a salad now.

A lot of fruit will turn brown if peeled ahead of time. You could toss is with a little lemon juice if you wanted to avoid the browning, or only chop one day's worth, and eat it soon. I like to peel an apple and wrap it tightly in plastic wrap. Then I just unwrap it and eat it the next day. There is very little color change. One day I cut up a bunch of fruit, tossed it in a bowl with some soaked walnuts, and mixed it with a little bit of vanilla yogurt (yogurt is not part of an all-raw diet). Then I had fruit salad for two days. It was so nice to see the delicious fruit salad waiting for me the next morning. It wasn't as fresh the second day, but still good.

When I was eating egg salad, I boiled and peeled a bunch of eggs, and kept them in a plastic container to keep them from getting dry. When I needed egg salad, I took out one or two and made it quickly, stuffing it into whole wheat, whole grain pitas with some salad veggies. I usually used one egg per pita half, but you may need more for a larger pita. I found myself wanting to eat two or three pita halves, so I stopped making this. That is the problem with not going 100% raw...it's like giving up chocolate MOST of the time...sooner or later you're going to slide down that "slippery slope" into no-no land, and eat too much. I've heard a lot of people ended up going 100% raw just because they couldn't stop the eventual binging on cooked foods when they were only partly raw. They constantly fell off the wagon.

Right now, I almost never feel tempted by foods. I haven't had fast food, diet soda, or chocolate in two weeks. For me, that is a miracle. Sometimes I see a food in the store and think "that would be nice to have", but it isn't a craving. The only craving I had was the day I was having a bit of detox, and that was very mild...and probably because I was hungry.

The first day was the hardest, and it wasn't that hard at all. I just felt a mild hunger all day, just a kind of "hey, I have some room in my stomach that I need to fill" feeling. I was adjusting to not having that over-full feeling you get from overeating cooked food. After a day or two of stuffing myself full of as much raw food as I wanted to eat, I adjusted. You really can't overeat raw food. You might have too many calories if you eat a lot of nuts or avocados on a regular basis--it varies from person to person. But generally, you're not going to get fat. Most people find their natural weight on this diet...some lose, and some even gain, because they were too thin to begin with. I look forward to finding my natural weight...I just hope I don't have too much sagging skin when I get there!

I'm really enjoying this way of eating. I love fruit, and salads are great. Now that I'm used to eating raw, it's time to start experimenting with more complicated recipes. My husband and children are starting to eat raw. And despite the fact that over the last year or so my children have become a bit picky, they are really adjusting to the new foods. I started them out with a lot of fruit in the mornings and some with other meals. Now I'm moving them into salads and veggies, and they (except my picky one year old) are doing great. My husband, after seeing my transformation, is becoming interested, especially since I haven't pressured him, and told him he doesn't have to become vegan or go 100% if he doesn't want to.

This has been surprisingly easy for me so far, and I'm looking forward to evolving into a healthy person! I'm on my way already!

A Raw Family

Wow, that last post was long! Sorry about that. So much to say, so little space.

I'm planning this week to phase my family into raw food. My husband is starting to read about it and show interest. So far the kids are enjoying their slow transition. I don't know if I'll go 100% with the kids, or not. I've read good things about kids on raw who have never gotten sick. If you know what you are doing, it is easy to make sure they get enough fat, calories and protein. I've found the myth that you have to have meat to get enough protein. Pound for pound, nuts have way more protein than meat. Many veggies do too. I'm going to see how the kids do on high raw, and what my husband thinks about going 100% raw, before I consider having them go all-raw.

Right now I'm just doing research for recipes and ideas as I become more and more raw. I wanted to post a few links and other info I have found helpful.

I Beat Obesity - as mentioned before, great inspiration. She has a raw bootcamp, but she charges for it, and it's too expensive for me.

Raw Food Talk - also previously mentioned, it is Alissa Cohen's raw forum, and there are links to her other sites. I haven't read her book yet, but it comes highly recommended by many people

Raw Family - a whole family that went raw, and experienced weight loss and healing from several illnesses. Their book "12 Steps to Raw Foods" is a good one--you'll just have to ignore some of the more...not sure how to say this..."liberal/hippy-ish" jargon if you're not into that. But it's a really good intro to raw and how to defeat your cooked food addictions. Their books "Raw Family" and "Green for Life" are also good, from what I've heard.

Raw Times - click on the Recipes link at the top

The Sunny Kitchen - a blog with really good recipes...this link goes straight to the All Things Chocolate post, which is great, but the whole blog is good

The Raw Table - some interesting-sounding recipes

The Raw Food Gourmet - some of these sounded good, especially the carrot "cake"

Some of the recipes you read or see pictures of may sound unusual at first, but remember you are used to eating food cooked down to a sodden mess and then spiced like crazy to make it taste better (I now find cooked food very bland, after only two weeks). Many foods used in raw cooking sound new and weird, but as your palate adjusts, you will find it easier to try and like new foods. In my next post, I'll tell you how I am making the transition to raw foods in an easy and tasty way.

Detox, and also...Why I Will Never Go Off Raw

The above pictures are from Carlene's website, I Beat Obesity . She lost 136 pounds in 9 months! She was my inspiration for starting raw. I was so impressed with how fast she lost the weight, and the health benefits she, and others, described, that I couldn't help but try it! Even though losing weight is a big motivator for me, the reason I will stay with this lifestyle is how I FEEL.

If you read my last post , you saw my results after two weeks on this diet. They are AMAZING! The best results are that I have had a significant reduction in pain and fatigue, and best of all, my depression is GONE!!! For that reason alone, it would be worth staying on this diet, even if it was hard. Which, thanks be to God, it has not been, so far. It's been remarkably easy.

The reason I know I will stay on this diet is because I had a "relapse" of sorts. No, I didn't fall off the raw bandwagon, but I experienced what I think was a day of detoxing. Detox is something you may experience whenever you begin a more healthy eating regimen than you previously had. Even on Atkins, you'll experience this to some degree, getting the "induction flu". If you've ever fasted, you probably experienced detox, as the toxins were leaving your body. Detox varies from person to person. Some people experience mild symptoms, some more severe. It depends on the toxicity levels in your body, and how long you have been polluting it. Often, you can experience old illnesses and pains from your past. This is all the crud stored in your body (probably from you suppressing it with medicines) making its way out. But detox is temporary, and it is good...it means your body is working properly, and all the disease and toxins in your body are leaving it. If you go 100% raw, you WILL detox, usually fairly soon, and it will probably be over quicker than if you were just high raw.

Detox is unpleasant, but necessary. Do not let this turn you back to cooked foods. It will be over, and you will feel great. From what I can gather, it can last a couple of weeks to a couple of months, with some occasional short bouts of detox over your first two years raw. The best way to get these bouts of detox over quicker is to go on a water or juice fast for a couple of days. Fasting is cleansing, and raw fruit juices are very cleansing. I've heard that after you detox, you will feel better than you ever have.

I was told I probably shouldn't go all raw until after the baby is born, at least. Some suggested I wait til I'm done nursing...ha ha ha! As you may know, if you read my other blog, I'm pretty much ALWAYS nursing or pregnant....or nursing AND pregnant, lol. The reason they say not to go 100% raw while pregnant is because detoxing while pregnant would probably be VERY uncomfortable. Because...well, you're pregnant, so you're probably already uncomfortable! You can be 100% raw and be pregnant or nursing, as many raw moms of healthy raw babies will tell you. But they were raw before getting pregnant, so they'd already been through detox. So they say stay around 90%, and I should be fine, which is what I am doing now.

But, I digress...back to my day of detox. I wasn't sure what the problem was, but Friday night I had problems getting to sleep, something I hadn't experienced since going raw. I got 4 hours of sleep, then had to do a round of errands Saturday morning. I didn't eat enough before I left, but I brought 2 raw energy bars with me (they're made of ground dehydrated fruits, nuts, and some other ingredients) but it didn't end up being enough. I was soooo tired, even before I started getting hungry. I was too tired and in too much of a hurry to try to find somewhere to get fruit or a salad. My brain was in such a fog, I couldn't even figure out where to go (I could have gotten a plain salad at McDonald's, duh). Then my back started to get sore. I didn't think I'd make it through Target, and at Sam's Club, I had to use one of the scooters.

I got really sleepy driving home, and by the time I got home, I felt irritable and weepy, and was feeling a little tempted to eat cooked food. I wondered if it was a combination of not getting enough sleep or enough food. I ended up going to bed, and having the WORST back pain ever. It was so bad, and felt so different, I worried I could be going into labor (I'm always getting paranoid about that possibility). More than anything, I wanted to take some Tylenol. But in the back of my mind, I thought "what if I'm detoxing?" If I was, and took Tylenol, my body would probably stop detoxing and start working to eliminate the Tylenol from my body. I'd feel better, but I wouldn't GET better, not really. So I suffered through it, and after an hour I fell asleep. Two hours later I woke up and felt much better, and an hour or so after that, I felt normal. My NEW normal...not tired, not in pain, and happy. It was so strange.

Today I felt great. I had a feeling that I might weigh a pound less today, even though my weight loss has stalled (which is good, since I'm pregnant). Low and behold, after a visit to the bathroom, I had lost a total of THREE POUNDS overnight! I really think it has to do with my body getting rid of some bad stuff. I've felt great all day.

In case anyone is concerned at my weight loss, don't be. Most of the ten or so pounds I've lost so far was probably water--before the diet I couldn't get my wedding ring off anymore. Now I can, and my face is noticeably thinner. My perinatologist isn't concerned. I expect I won't lose much more, and if I do, I'll gain it back. I'm thinking I'll probably bounce around weight-wise, and probably end up around 290 when I have the baby. Even if I only gain a few pounds, I won't be worried. They're already estimating the baby is 3.3 pounds according to ultrasound (they're usually right with my babies), so I don't think I need to gain more than five pounds more, ten at most.

But my lesson from my "mini-detox" is this: I don't want to go back to being that kind of person. That's all I could think while I lay in bed, crying from the pain. I CANNOT live like that again. I cannot go back to the depression, the anxiety, the crying, the pain, the fatigue...I can't do it anymore. Rather than drive me away from raw, my little detox episode made me more dedicated than ever. How on earth did I function with all that pain and emotional turmoil?

To me, eating this way is the most natural thing in the world. What did Adam and Eve eat in the Garden of Eden? Fruit from the trees! There was no mention of campfires and pots of oatmeal or pans of cooked chicken. I'm not saying eating meat is wrong, I'm just saying that the bulk of our food, in my opinion, was meant to come from God's natural creations, eaten straight from the tree or vine. I really feel that I am in tune with my body, and eating the way God intended, and I've never felt that way before.

With God's help, I truly hope that I will eat this way for the rest of my life. Even if I never lost a pound, I would eat this way, just to feel like my old self again--but better!

RAW RESULTS !

Two weeks have passed since I started my raw food lifestyle. I have refrained from posting about it, because I wanted to make sure I made it past the first week. On low carb diets, the first week was easy, and after that it got harder. But on raw, it's still just as easy. Let me start with the fun stuff: results!

In two weeks I have:

• lost 10.2 pounds (most of it the first week)
• eliminated my insomnia
• gotten deeper sleep every night
• almost eliminated the need for naps, even on only 6 hours of sleep
• virtually eliminated my depression
• eliminated my anxiety
• become more patient with my children, and I'm yelling a LOT less
  
• suddenly become happier, even giggly on occasion
  
• gotten softer skin
• significantly reduced pain from some kind of groin muscle that was very painful
• stopped needing to use the scooters at Walmart (boy was that embarrassing!)
• eliminated the stiffness I got whenever I sat or laid down for too long
• significantly reduced my back pain
• increased my energy ten-fold
• stopped getting super-sleepy when driving
• virtually eliminated my cravings for carbs, soda, fast food, and yes, even CHOCOLATE!
• had some improvement in my breathing while in bed
• had a big increase in libido (enough said)

I'm sure there is more, but that's all I can think of. Really, that's enough, isn't it?! Just the elimination of the depression and the increase in energy is enough to have me thrilled. I feel sooooo much better. I could see most of these changes in the first 48 hours. It was amazing. I feel like a different person!

Now, onto the less exciting information. Keep in mind I'm a newbie and this information is what I have gathered on my own...I may not get everything exactly right. Also, there are some variations in what each raw foodist believes is the right way to eat.

What is raw food? Raw food is any fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, legumes, or grains that have been prepared without heating of any kind over about 105-118 degrees farenheit. Basically, nothing is cooked, although sometimes it may be warmed, or dehydrated (at 105 degrees or less). Most raw foodists are also vegans (meaning they don't eat any meat, fish, or dairy products). Anyone who is 100% raw is almost always vegan. A lot of people only eat 80-90% raw: this is considered "high raw". Some eat 50%-80%. These people may eat some meat or dairy, but a lot don't.

Usually the people eating a lower percentage of raw are trying to eat whole foods when they do eat cooked food...meaning their cooked food may be cooked whole grains and legumes (possibly soaked or sprouted first, a la "Nourishing Traditions" style), and possibly some all natural meat and/or raw dairy products. If you eat at least 50% raw (and absolutely everyone should do at least that much) you will see improvement in your health, and probably your weight. On high raw, you will definitely feel much better, and on 100% raw, you will feel amazing.

What do you eat if you are all raw? Many people have fruit or fruit smoothies for breakfast, fruit or a salad for lunch, and usually a more elaborate raw vegan meal for dinner. To drink, they'll make fresh raw juices from fruits and/or veggies, nut milk, or water. They usually don't use soymilk, from what I've read, because of all the health concerns lately with soy.

I had planned to start out 50-60% raw, but quickly got to 70-80%. Lately, I have been more like 90%, as I have cut back on the whole wheat crackers and hummus, and the egg salad pitas I had been having once a day. Now, usually the only non-raw food I have is ranch dressing, cheddar cheese sprinkled on my salads (trying to phase this out), and every few days 2-3 ounces of cooked chicken breast or fish. I've chosen not to go 100% yet, because several people have suggested it wouldn't be a good idea to go through "detox" while pregnant--I'll explain more about that in my next post.

The great thing about raw is you can eat as much as you want, and you can still eat this way while you are pregnant or nursing, and still have a healthy baby. I've met several people online who are all raw, and pregnant or nursing (they were already raw before, and had already been through detox). Some people who are wanting to lose weight have to be careful how much avocado or nuts they eat (high in fat and calories), but not everyone does.

This way of eating may sound crazy to those who are addicted to cooked foods, particularly dairy and meat. You don't have to give up dairy and meat, you can still eat some if you want, just not as much, and try to buy organic/all natural, and prepare it properly. However, you will probably eventually start cutting back on it, once you read about the good effects of eliminating it from your diet. If nothing else, do some reading, and start out 50% raw. I know you'll feel the difference fairly quickly. Try it for a week or two...what have you got to lose?

Raw Foods

I recently came across a website while looking up natural diets. It was about a woman who had lost 136 pounds in NINE months! I was impressed. Check her out at I Beat Obesity . She did it by going on a 100% raw food diet.

I know what you're thinking...exactly what I thought: "ugh, all raw fruits and vegetables?"..."I could never give up meat, dairy, etc."..."raw diets are for tree-hugging new-age hippies." But I was intrigued. Anything that helps you lose that much weight, that fast gets my attention. What interested me more, was the number of other stories I found, particularly from people who had radical improvement in health, got rid of many diseases, and felt fantastic and had fabulous hair and skin after going raw.

Surprisingly, on one board I found a bunch of pregnant women, many of whom had four or more children. Now THAT surprised me. I figured they'd all be women with one, maybe two kids. I know that healthy eating is becoming big with quiver-full, serious Christians, but I didn't expect to find out that some are going vegan/raw. Interesting to know.

Don't get me wrong, I still think Kimkins is a great diet and obviously works for a lot of people. But I'm always pregnant or nursing, and because of that, I think it's too hard-core for me. It's just not an appropriate diet for someone who is pregnant. I have come across websites of raw foodists who continue to eat raw when pregnant or nursing, and had very healthy babies. A lot of women weren't able to stay 100% raw while pregnant, because they either didn't feel satisfied or got major morning sickness. They added in a little cooked food, meat, etc., but they returned to all raw afterwards.

It was recommended to me on a raw food board that I not try to go all raw while pregnant. As with any diet that is healthier than the SAD (Standard American Diet), you will "detox" as your body gets rid of the unnatural poisons you have filled it with. For some people, it can go on for several days of feeling cruddy...not something you want when you're already pregnant, lol.

I'm researching it more, but I think I will definitely go at least 50% raw. Really, we all should get at least that many fruits and vegetables. I'm a little concerned what all the fruit with do to me, with my g. diabetes. But I've heard people actually kick their diabetic symptoms on raw diets, despite the large amount of fruits and juices.

Fruits and veggies are a no-brainer, but it's the other weird stuff that I'm hesitant about...nut "cheeses" and "cakes" (quite frankly, if it's not really going to taste anything like cheese or cake, you shouldn't call it that...you're just asking for folks to be disappointed) and other odd things. Odd to me, anyway. It's hard for me to see eating NOTHING cooked. But I'm definitely willing to give it a shot, and go 50% raw, then see how I feel. If I could avoid much more weight gain (the way I'm going, I'll be over 300 *sob*) for my last 13 weeks of pregnancy, and end up slimming down and feeling healthy afterwards, I'll be thrilled. I might be up for anything at that point!

I'll let you know what I find out, and how it goes.

New Treadmill!

I am so excited! We finally got a new treadmill. It's a really nice one, an Ironman Legacy TV treadmill. It was expensive for us, at $999. We charged it, which we don't like to do, but I didn't want to waste money getting a low-end one that couldn't take my weight and would break in a year. We got it at Costco.com. It included shipping, but not tax. It was way under retail value, and I couldn't find any other treadmill anywhere near that price range with the kind of features and the quality motor and warranty this one has.

My husband loves it. I've played around with it, but haven't done a real workout on it yet. It's been a few days, so I HAVE to get on it tonight. There's not a lot I can do about my weight right now, so I'm going to focus on working out. I know I need it to boost my metabolism and help me get in shape. I just got a Pilates for Pregnancy DVD that I want to try, and I'm planning on doing the treadmill at least every other day. Having the integrated tv will really help, because it will help pass the time and make it less boring.

My weight started at 260 when I got pregnant, but I went on a diet at that point (not realizing) and lost seventeen pounds. Then I gained it back very quickly after I stopped dieting. I think my poor pregnant body held onto every calorie I ate! When I got back to 260, I hovered there for a while, then fluctuated between 260 and 263. Just in the last few days I went up, and now I'm 265. Yuck. I want to try being a lot more careful and hopefully lose a couple of pounds.

Now I know what you're thinking--dieting during pregnancy is bad. That's not really what I'm talking about. In general--if I'm not pigging out--my body's trend during pregnancy is to not gain the first trimester, gain a little over the second trimester, and pack on most of the pounds gained during the last trimester. This fluctuates of course, but it is the overall trend. That is how it went last time, and I only gained 28 pounds, the least of all my pregnancies. My doctor had told me that, in my case, mild dieting was okay. Really, it wasn't dieting, it was just monitoring my food intake carefully. He said the South Beach diet was okay for me, because he trusted me to put the baby first, after getting to know me. We went over the amount of calories I needed to get. I admit to not following it, really, but did try to watch what I was eating.

I'm finding myself lately giving myself too many "treats". So I think the weight I've gained this week is definitely fat. A few regular sodas here (poison) a few ice creams there, a little fast food...voila, two pounds in two days! Instead of relieving my stress with ice cream, I need to use the treadmill!

So here's my plan: start working out, try to drop a couple of pounds, and only let myself gain a few pounds slowly over this next trimester, and in the third trimester, be very careful to eat only healthy foods and exercise as much as my huge size will let me. If I could get no heavier than 285 at the end of this pregnancy, I will be very happy. Ug, I hate to say that. My highest was 280 with the last pregnancy. But as usual, I started this pregnancy a little heavier than the last.

Doctors recommend 25-35 pound gain for normal women, and 15-25 pounds for obese women. They usually focus on the 15 pound recommendation. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. According to my pregnancy book, women gain 7 pounds in maternal stores (fat, protein, nutrients), 4 pounds in increased fluid volume, 2 pounds in breast enlargement, 2 pounds in the uterus, 2 pounds in amniotic fluid, 1 1/2 pounds in the placenta, and 7 1/2 pounds for the baby. That makes 26 pounds. For someone like me, whose babies have been 9 - 11 pounds, that would be a 28 to 31 pound weight gain. But they want me to gain only fifteen?! Even if you took out the 7 pounds for maternal stores, I would still gain a minimum of 21 pounds for the uterus, breast enlargement, amniotic fluid, fluid volume, placenta, and baby. Get real!

I figure a 25 pound gain is healthy for me. So as much as I hate the idea of seeing 285 on the scale, I think it is the right figure. I just really don't want to weigh more than that, if I can help it.

Wish me luck on the walking!

No, the Ticker Isn't Going Backwards....

...it just looks like it. My guess-timate on the due date was way off. Apparently I missed a period sometime BEFORE I got pregnant. I had an ultrasound, and the new estimated due date is August 14th.

It's Official!

Yes, blessing # five is on the way! I tested positive last night. I'm kind of surprised. I usually don't test positive until I'm two weeks late. Although I'm not sure when the date of my last period was (poor recordkeeping, lol) I didn't think I would test positive til around next Tuesday or Wednesday. I still don't feel pregnant, really. I guess I'm tired, but not overly so. Going to bed at an insane hour lately is probably responsible for that. I also had been feeling like I just could not do the diet anymore. Which I guess could be my body's way of saying "stop dieting, you're pregnant, you dummy!"

Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised, since I unfortunately stopped breastfeeding at five months postpartum. I should be more surprised it took so long to get pregnant! But God knows when I'm ready, which is why we trust God with the size of our family. I had a year between the last two pregnancies, and felt ready when I got pregnant. I feel that I'll be ready for another baby when this baby comes, but I wasn't quite feeling ready to be pregnant yet, lol! I don't at all mind the first trimester. It's the third that I hate...it's been getting harder each time. But I shouldn't complain, because my pregnancies are relatively easy. God has been very good to me. He's probably making up for the fact that, due to circumstances beyond my control, all my births have been cesareans.

This does explain why, since I've gone off the diet, I have gained back HALF the weight I lost in a week or so!!! I need to really watch what I eat. If I eat properly in my first trimester, I usually actually lose a bit of weight. Then I stabilize in the second trimester, and gain in the third (partly because I get tired of "watching" what I eat). This time I plan to try the Weston A. Price diet or the Blue Ribbon Baby diet. I've read good things about both. I want to eat really healthy this time. I still plan to reduce my carbs (I think Americans eat WAY too many) but in a healthy way. Most of my carbs will come from fruits and vegetables, and homemade organic whole wheat bread. I have GOT to eliminate the "white stuff" this time...refined carbs, like sugar and white flour. I want to get a grinder so I can grind my own wheat berries as needed. Whole wheat begins to lose nutrients within hours of grinding it.

I hope everyone has had a good Advent!

God bless.

Temporarily off diet

I'm going off the diet for a little while. I think I might be pregnant, and this diet isn't suitable for pregnant or nursing women, as it is very very low carb. I don't feel pregnant, and my husband says I don't look pregnant (he says he can tell), but I am definitely very "late", and I haven't been nursing for at least four months, so it's likely. But usally I "feel" pregnant, so I wonder if this could be a pregnancy that won't continue. This happened once before, and the pregnancy ended after only a few weeks. Well, we'll see. I'll keep you updated.

Visit from the WHOOSH fairy!

Yes! I had a "whoosh" of weight loss overnight. I'm now 242.6 ! Not bad!

I've been feeling a little down lately, worried that I'm not losing fast. But that's really just a day-to-day feeling I get if I haven't lost for a day or two. Looking over my extrapounds and fitday stats, I am really doing fine. I've lost 17.4 pounds in just over four weeks, which is about 4.35 pounds per week. I'd be losing 5 pounds a week, which is my goal, if I hadn't cheated those two days, I'm sure.

But the real test is how I look, and I am definitely seeing a difference. My husband says I look smaller and feel smaller when he puts his arms around my waist. This is definitely the easiest diet I've ever done. It still takes work, but it's not at all hard.

Mind you, all this weight lost is without exercise...I've only exercised one day the whole time. I really should exercise--I'd lose faster. It would help me get to my goal of 230 by New Year's a lot quicker.

Onward and downward!

Still losing...

Sorry I haven't been posting. I've been doing a lot of reading on an interesting subject that I may end up sharing, I'm not sure.

Anyway, the diet is going well. I am down to 245.2 pounds. I think I really need to cut back on my calories so I can make my New Year's goal. Fifteen pounds to go, not bad! I can do it.

I'll update when I can.

An "ah ha!" Moment

Hello, my name is slim_dreams, and I'm a carbaholic. I think I've known I had a carb addiction for some time now, but only recently have I understood how bad this addiction really is.

On Saturday, as you know, I cheated on the diet. On Sunday, I was able to get back on the diet, although I was starting to feel the effects of the cheat. Monday, under a lot of stress and feeling the full effects of the cheat, I gave in and cheated again. And that's when I knew.

I ate three chewy granola bars, 1/2 a batch of jello instant pudding (sugar free, but made with milk, and the powder alone was 16 carbs), and a pita spread with hummus. I realized as I ate that I was eating fast, eager to get the next carby bite in my mouth. While I ate, I felt relief to finally be able to quell the cravings. But as soon as I was done, I was so disappointed in myself. I was kicking myself...no way will I make my New Year's goal of 230 now, I thought.

I decided to "sleep it off" and take a nap, hoping to avoid any more temptation or deal with more cravings. My husband watched the kids while I slept for three hours. When I awoke, I was STARVING, and felt groggy and felt almost "hungover", for a good hour. I was cranky, impatient, teary, and depressed. I hated myself for what I had done. I realize now that I have felt this way every day for the last two years. There is no doubt that my depression has been diet-related. I knew I had been feeling better on the diet, but only after I lost those good feelings did I truly understand how the carbs had taken control of my life.

I felt really down and hated myself. I know now that this is the diet for me. I NEED this diet. But I was afraid that I'd never get past the cravings and into ketosis again. My husband comforted me and helped me think clearly. For us, it's not just a physical thing, but a spiritual one as well. As he said, the Devil doesn't want me to be thin, or happy, or healthy. He wants me miserable, desperate, and out of control. He wants me to be a slave to my cravings. I believe this is true. Since I have become overweight, I have been incredibly self-centered, thinking only of myself and my food, and what I want. On the diet, I was in control, happy, and thinking more about the needs of others.

All this has made me appreciate how important it is for me to be on this diet, and lose the weight. On the diet, I feel so free. It was amazing how little I thought of food, and how I finally felt in control of my mind and body. I really miss that feeling now, and I want it back.

I know it will be hard getting back on the wagon, but I am determined to do it. I know I will be on "autopilot" once ketosis hits, and I just have to stay strong until then. It will only be another day or so. Even if I never lost another pound on Kimkins, I would still stay on the diet, if only for the sake of my health...and sanity!

I think I will post this on my fridge:

WARNING: CARBS CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH. EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF CARBS WILL RESULT IN LETHARGY, FATIGUE, DEPRESSION, TEARFULNESS, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, SELFISHNESS, WEIGHT GAIN, MOOD SWINGS, IMPATIENCE, DIABETES, AND AN OVERALL DECLINE IN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH. DO NOT INGEST.

The lesson here...DON'T CHEAT !!! It's a bad idea on any diet, but on this diet it is definitely NOT worth it. I can't wait til I am in ketosis and happy again!

Success Story: Vanessa

One of my favorite success stories over at Kimmer's website is Vanessa's. She is a mom of four who lost 107 pounds in five months. She did the really hard core version of Kimkins, just because she wanted the weight loss over and done with. Not sure I can do that myself, but I think that doing regular Kimkins or Kimmer's Experiment, I could definitely be down to a normal weight within six months, possibly even to goal.

But really at my size, just getting down to 160 will be a thrill. I figure at that weight I should be able to get into a size 16, which would be awesome. To shop in the "regular people" section, and have so much to choose from, and to be able to buy right off the rack! Wow. That would be a dream for me.

Kimmer has success stories of all types on her site, from a girl who lost 15 pounds to a woman who lost 213. I love success stories, they are so inspiring!

Confession Time

Okay my friends, the time has come for a confession. I did it. I cheated on the diet. My husband thought I had cheated when I hadn't, and I was upset, and it happened to be a day when I was feeling very tempted. So I cheated. For the longer, more boring version of the day's events, you can check my public Fitday journal.

The funny thing is, I didn't enjoy my cheating that much. I had a burger, four brownie cookies, and a gourmet candy bar. The burger wasn't that good, and only the first few bites of the candy bar and cookies were good. I just ate the rest out of spite. (I know, how dumb!) I just found the candy and cookies too sweet and WAY too rich. I thought I'd never say that--I LOVE chocolate! But it was just too much. Funny how quickly our tastes can change, even without our realizing it.

I think I was more tempted to cheat this time because I had been trying to do Kimmer's boot camp, which is a stricter version of Kimkins. Unfortunately I also chose today to start exercising, and boy did I ever work out hard! Probably not a good idea to start both on the same day. I was starving! No wonder I caved under the stress. I should have started exercising first, then slowly worked my way into Kimmer's bootcamp.

Even though I fell off the wagon, there were obviously still some effects of the Kimkins diet in my system. I still couldn't eat all that much, even though it was a carb-filled "meal". And as I said, it was all too rich for my taste. Also, although I was hungrier than usual this morning, I wasn't as hungry as I used to be back when I was eating all carbs. I do find myself feeling a lot more tempted today. Thoughts of cookies and candy are haunting me. But I expected that, and I am prepared for it. I allowed myself to eat more than normal today, and to eat cheese and bacon when I wanted to, transitioning into Kimkins again. But most of the food was on-plan.

I am definitely not beating myself up. I have a lot to be proud for, and ironically the decision to cheat wasn't made in an overly-emotional manner. I struggled with the temptation for a long time before I finally just decided to cheat and get it out of my system. Not the best choice, but I had my reasons. Hopefully I won't gain too much, and maybe it will give me a little kick-start in my weight loss again.

Now I know that cheating is definitely not worth it. It wasn't all that enjoyable, and it cost me in my weight loss. So now as I am haunted by the "ghosts of cookies past" I can tell myself "hey, it won't taste nearly as good as you think, so it's not worth it." I even passed on the temptation to buy "low carb" chocolates today, so I am staying strong. I'm in this for the long haul.

This diet is too easy to give up on. I don't want to go back to food controlling me. I don't want to waste my family's money on junk that's just eventually going to kill me. I don't want the hunger and the cravings to come back. I like that I don't think about food all of the time.

So now I just need to deal with a day or so of cravings, and then stay on the Kimkins plan. Because this time, failure is not an option. This time, I have hope. I know I can do this.